Insomnia Will Follow You

1. Boycott Lunesta.
2. Watch an episode of “True Blood” before going to sleep.
3. Are scared, so put in romantic comedy to take your mind off of vampires. ETS (Estimated Time of Slumber): 11:00
4. Have a weird dream and wake up to a mosquito buzzing around your head.  Assume it’s at least 3 or 4 am, when really it is 12:43.
5. Spray DOOM in the room, then hide under your sheet to avoid inhaling chemicals that will kill you as well as the bugs. ETS: 1:00
6. Wake up in a haze at 1:30 to your phone ringing.  Spend an hour on the phone with your American bank, trying to figure out how you can actually get money out of your account.  ETS: 2:45
7. Wake up at 4:00 to the dogs barking right outside your window, a nightly occurrence.  ETS: 4:20
8. Finally, sleep until the morning!

Sleep is over-rated.  -Sarah Mather, circa junior year of high school